I’ve been an undedicated blogger. I wish there were some good, concise excuse for my months of silence, but the truth is, as always, complicated and not something I entirely understand. In all honesty, I have been busy. I’m a junior now, and school is quickly becoming vital to my immediate future (yes, the specter of college admissions is looming), but that isn’t really what’s been keeping me quiet.
At first it was just the everyday this and that: homework, friend drama, writer’s block. But soon I discovered that, despite actually wanting to be a just as devout and vocal a Pagan as ever, I was finding it almost impossible to move past the mental barriers I had fenced myself in with. I don’t know if I’m making much sense, but as far as I can tell, I was the source of a problem that was entirely unnecessary and unmotivated by any discernible ideal or emotional goal.
Needless to say, this was puzzling. I usually get along with myself, at least to a point of recognizing why things are going wrong, if they are. I was mystified. There were many opportune moments for me to sit down and whip out a quick post, or even occasions and events that I desperately wanted to comment on though a Wiccan lens. And yet, I remained stuck, held back by some unspoken, unfounded, unformed, unjustified limitation for which only I was responsible.
I want to assure you that I never stopped believing wholeheartedly that I was as Pagan as they come. I didn’t question any of my beliefs or give up the path; I merely wandered off it, blundering around in the bushes for a while, as if looking for something that I couldn’t remember losing. A great mystery that I fear I will never solve.
Still, I’m back now (hopefully for good) and trying not to worry too much about whatever it was that initiated my detour. The important thing is that I’m once again advancing down the path of my spiritual life, seeking to better myself and celebrating everything I am blessed with along the way. I hope to have a chance to mention some of the more important matters I failed to share and continue on with whatever I encounter next.
Thank you all for your interest and support! Goddess keep you,