Wandering Off the Path

I’ve been an undedicated blogger. I wish there were some good, concise excuse for my months of silence, but the truth is, as always, complicated and not something I entirely understand. In all honesty, I have been busy. I’m a junior now, and school is quickly becoming vital to my immediate future (yes, the specter of college admissions is looming), but that isn’t really what’s been keeping me quiet.

At first it was just the everyday this and that: homework, friend drama, writer’s block. But soon I discovered that, despite actually wanting to be a just as devout and vocal a Pagan as ever, I was finding it almost impossible to move past the mental barriers I had fenced myself in with. I don’t know if I’m making much sense, but as far as I can tell, I was the source of a problem that was entirely unnecessary and unmotivated by any discernible ideal or emotional goal.

Needless to say, this was puzzling. I usually get along with myself, at least to a point of recognizing why things are going wrong, if they are. I was mystified. There were many opportune moments for me to sit down and whip out a quick post, or even occasions and events that I desperately wanted to comment on though a Wiccan lens. And yet, I remained stuck, held back by some unspoken, unfounded, unformed, unjustified limitation for which only I was responsible.

I want to assure you that I never stopped believing wholeheartedly that I was as Pagan as they come. I didn’t question any of my beliefs or give up the path; I merely wandered off it, blundering around in the bushes for a while, as if looking for something that I couldn’t remember losing. A great mystery that I fear I will never solve.

Still, I’m back now (hopefully for good) and trying not to worry too much about whatever it was that initiated my detour. The important thing is that I’m once again advancing down the path of my spiritual life, seeking to better myself and celebrating everything I am blessed with along the way. I hope to have a chance to mention some of the more important matters I failed to share and continue on with whatever I encounter next.

Thank you all for your interest and support! Goddess keep you,

Emma

Who’s the Crone?

Hello all, I’ve been absolutely swamped in school. Still, I’ve gotten to thinking, who’s the Crone? Now before you think I’ve lost it and don’t understand the meaning of the Triple Goddess, I’m referring to a different issue entirely. Historically, I’ve had no trouble finding goddesses whose Maiden incarnations speak to me and recently I’m connecting more with Mother goddesses, but the Crone still eludes me.

I’ve always known that Artemis was for me, and as a teenager, I identify with the Goddess as she manifests through Maiden goddesses best. Still, I’ve always found it a bit strange that even though I know the Goddess as my Sister and Mother, I’ve yet to find her in her older incarnation. It just hasn’t happened.

Maybe the issue has something to do with my age, but more likely it’s about the goddesses themselves. Most goddesses are either Maidens or Mothers, a few contain a little of both. There are those that are identified as Triple Goddesses, but they are usually best known in their Mother incarnation. Mythology accounts for the youth of it’s deities with everything from their immortality to youth-granting golden apples, and although there are gods and goddesses with grandchildren, they remain Mothers and Fathers in appearance and behavior.

Perhaps the Great Goddess – the oneness of us all – is the Crone, and I have yet to understand and comprehend Her, or perhaps the Crone can only be found in aspects of a Triple Goddess’s personality. Perhaps age and perspective are the only ways to understand either of these things. Whatever the case, I suppose I shall continue my search for the Crone, waiting for time or enlightenment to reveal the truth.

Goddess keep you,

Emma

Adventures in Astral Projection

Unfortunately I haven’t been sleeping too well lately, insomnia has always been a bit of an issue for me. Well, last night, as I was sitting in bed, wishing I were sleepy, I picked up a book that happened to have a section on astral projection. I’d never really thought about it before, though it seemed pretty cool. I’m not going to lie, I’d love to be able to travel the world without paying for the plane tickets. Also, I’ve been having vivid dreams lately, and somehow – not quite sure why – that seemed to make the whole thing more possible.

So I gave it a try. I lay in bed, not sleepy at all, slowly relaxing and finding my center. I breathed deeply, calling the four elements into a protective circle around me. After a moment or two of visualizing the circle, a sphere really as I’m always extra careful after my experience a while ago, I called the light into me. My protective circles always have a sort of yellowish glow, but once the energy flowed into me, it turned a bluish white. I saw it take my shape, bonding with my astral body.

At first I couldn’t get past this, seeing the shape of myself inside myself was a bit disconcerting. However, after a second or third try, I managed not to jerk myself back into full corporeal state at the mere sight, and as the light grew brighter, I felt a sort of fizzy feeling, and felt myself lifting up. It started in the area around my navel where my focus had been, but spread up my arms. Of course I almost immediately began to think too much – another ongoing theme of my life – and quickly descended into physical reality again.

I gave it another go, but a little tired by then and continuing to over-think, I couldn’t manage to fully disentangle my physical and astral bodies. I reluctantly decided to leave off for then and spent a good minute making sure I had fully returned without complications and feeling my center as a reference point for the joining of my two bodies. Then I opened my eyes and, unsure what to expect, inspected how I felt. I was still just as fully awake as I had been before the experience and my whole body felt relaxed. It didn’t help me fall asleep – not that I was expecting it too – but it didn’t seem to keep me up. Aside from feeling a little shaky – as I always seem to after any intense psychic use – I felt perfectly normal.

I’m not sure if I’ll try astral projection again, or when, but it was certainly an interesting experience. I thought it might be useful for me to share with you, so here is my very beginner, very inexpert account of my personal experience. If anyone has had success with astral projection or has an interesting story about it, I’d love to hear it.

Goddess keep you (whatever state you’re in),

Emma

Why I am a Vegetarian

Many Pagans are vegans or vegetarians, believing that “harm none” extends to what they eat, however, I used to eat meat and was at peace with it. Now this may seem strange, but my belief was and still is that since meat-eating is a part of the natural cycle of things, it is acceptable. What is slightly less acceptable is the way we raise livestock. It’s inhumane and disgusting, so if you are a meat-eating Pagan try to get free-range meat.

Still, part of my reason for becoming a vegetarian is about not harming myself. Americans especially eat an imbalanced diet and I personally feel that, while I haven’t been unhealthy, I could be more healthy. Simply the process of being conscious about what I’m eating keeps me from too many making off-hand, poor-quality choices because I’m more aware of what everything has in it.

Now I’m not saying vegetarianism is the cure-all for bad eating habits, but it certainly infuses your diet with more produce. It is part of a process in which you learn to break old habits through choice and learn new ones the same way. It’s a matter of self-discipline and the waning moon is the perfect time to start letting go of old habits and beginning afresh.

Goddess keep you,

Emma

Happy Samhain!

Thank the Goddess, it’s finally Samhain! As a Wiccan and a person who loves fall (and chocolate) Samhain is hands down my favorite holiday. But, as we Witches know, the day that most people call Halloween is much more than a day for costumes and candy. This greater sabbat is the magical equivalent of New Year’s Eve; it is also a time of remembrance and – since the veil between this world and the next is at it’s thinest – a time for celebrating the spirits of those who have passed away during this past magical year.

But, it’s also a festival of harvest and celebration (the last of the three Wiccan harvest festivals), so don’t get too lost in introverted reverence and solitary thought. Just because it’s a day about death doesn’t mean it can’t be one about life too. The year is coming to an end, winding down into winter, but remember that the dark half of the year is just as important as the light half. Balance is a key part of nature. Without death there can be no rebirth, so celebrate the life that has come before, and the reincarnation that will come soon – both of the world awakening in springtime and of our loved ones whose energy will return in new life despite the shortening days.

So what to do on Samhain? Well, air on the side of ritual not magic. Remember that thing about the veil between worlds? Well, that means that even if you’re not really looking for it, trouble has an easier time of finding you in the form of a mischievous or malicious spirit that might just invite itself into your life. Magic, as it requires the flow and interchange of energy, opens you up and lets down your guard just enough to make you vulnerable. Still, you can have a perfectly fine Samhain without preforming any magic.

There are many little rituals dating back to older Pagan traditions that find their way into modern families. Such things as setting a place at the table for a departed loved one or leaving a candle in the window to guide spirits home are common. If you are looking for a full ritual, I recommend you light some candles, burn some incense, and create a small alter spread featuring a picture or personal affects of the loved one. As to actual words, I can’t help you there; I firmly believe that everyone should write and preform their own rituals, spells can be generic, but rituals are a deeply personal thing and I would never dream of telling someone what was the right or wrong way to go about one. If you like you can invoke the Goddess as she manifests through Isis (or another goddess dealing with death and the afterlife) or simply do something like talk about what you loved about the person. It’s up to you.

Now then, about that fun. Again there’s a lot you can do on Samhain. You can get all dressed up and go to a party or (if your age permits) go trick-or-treating; you can have a large harvest dinner with foods such as pumpkin, squash, turnips, poultry, beef, pork, apples, or nuts; you can get sparklers and sparkling apple cider and wait up until midnight to see the birth of the new magical year (I recommend that you remember this is a work/school night before you make any decision about this one); you could grab a couple friends or family members and pop in some scary movies; you could turn out all the lights and hide from the trick-or-treaters and eat all the candy yourself (but expect some icky karma if you do that); you could even have a small family gathering where you exchange gifts. I’m not claiming any of these are traditional, but they sound like fun.

Above all, remember that today is a day to look back and remember, and inward at yourself, but also to look forward toward the coming rebirth. Be proud of your ancestors and where you come from and honor them today, but also be proud of your faith and revel in this wonderful day when everybody (even if they don’t really know it) is jumping on the Pagan train – er broom, that is – and magic is on everyone’s mind.

Goddess keep you, and have a marvelously magical Samhain!

Emma

Ghosts, Yay or Nay?

Tis’ the time of year when the barrier between the worlds of the living and dead grows thin…. Dramatics aside, let’s talk about ghosts. I, personally, am a believer, I’ve had too many encounters with spirits of various natures to deny the existence of “ghosts”. So what are these beings?

Well, my explanation has a lot to do with energy. We’re all made up of energy that cannot be created or destroyed so it reincarnates infinitely. I personally believe that we don’t reincarnate as the a ‘soul’ but instead that we are only us once. We are made up of lots of people, plants, and animals that have previously existed and when we die that energy is dispersed and redistributed.

Now this may seem to contradict my belief in ghosts – after all, spirits of the dead are one person, not little bits of energy – but I promise you it all makes sense when you just think about it. What do we Wiccans believe about harming none? That we should cause no harm through thoughts, feelings, and intentions as well as actions. We of all people understand the power that emotions have, they can draw things to us – anger attracts anger, sadness attracts sadness, joy brings joy, and so on.

In life our energy is held together inside a body. When we die our energy doesn’t stay as a single unit because nothing is compelling it to; but, if some sort of strong emotional charge is given to our energy by something  like a trauma just before death, or if some kind of unresolved purpose is holding the energy closer to life than to the Summerland, then our energy would have more in common with itself than the rest of the energy out there and, therefore, a compelling reason to remain as a single unit, drawing itself together. This would create what we call a ghost.

Now some spirits may have mischievous or malicious intents, it’s possible, but to my mind most are likely more frightened and confused. After all, they’re not heading along the path they should be and they’re still the same person to an extent, but they can’t act the same way as they did during life. We have no real way to know exactly what goes on inside the minds of such unfortunate beings, and the closest I’ve come is the frightening realization that one was sharing my head with me.

Understandably, the whole idea of someone we cannot see or hear or perceive naturally is frightening and we want as little to do with such beings as possible. Still, I’d like to think we can be compassionate without inviting the troubles of these spirits into our own lives. So if you hear something go bump in the night, or lights flicker, or things move around seemingly on their own, listen to your intuition and, if it’s just a lost soul, bless it and send it on its way, and, if it’s something darker, learn a good ward you can put up quickly and get on with celebrating the season.

Goddess keep you,

Emma

Pumpkin Recipes

Hey guys, it’s seven days until Samhain and counting (I’m excited!!!). So in honor of this most wonderful time of the (magical) year I’m putting up a new pumpkin recipe everyday for the next seven days. Check ‘em out!

Goddess keep you,

Emma

Bewitching Beauty: What’s With The Green Hag?

So Halloween (Samhain for us Wiccans) is fast approaching and, while I’m thoroughly excited, I’m a bit disturbed by the weird old lady in a tattered dress with knobby knees, a bad case of adult acne, and green skin that is supposed to represent my kind. I would just like to take a moment to say, “WHAT?” Since when are we Witches green? I never noticed my skin taking on that tone once I began to practice the craft. So, unless I’m missing something, I’m going to take a wild guess and say that it is yet another case of anti-Pagan propaganda.

The next question to spring to mind is definitely “Why?” Why has this image become the norm? As usual the answer likely is fear. It’s true that we have a kind of power that others don’t – I’m not talking about fantasy books or magic tricks – we’re aware of the power of thoughts and intentions and understand the rhythms and cycles of nature; we’re tuned in. This can seem pretty scary to people who don’t understand it and they unfortunately are prone to react with hatred and negativity.

Still, it’s been an awfully long time since the government wasn’t secular and I think it’s about time we talk about this issue. Representations of Wicca and Witchcraft are entirely inaccurate and the depictions of Wiccans and Witches are often worse. At best you can hope for a Samantha Stevens who has given in to the pressures of society and become a housewife content in hiding her true self and letting her husband tell her not to be herself. At worst you get some deranged cult member worshiping evil and darkness and I’m not even going to waist time talking about how wrong that is. Does this strike you as even a little concerning?

I don’t have a good answer to this issue, but as a (relatively self-conscious) teenage girl and Witch, I think I’d rather see pictures of Ceridwen hanging in people’s windows than the warty old hag. The only thing to do is try and educate people and, sure no one’s going to make it easy for us to get the respect a proper mascot would bring, but it still bothers me. Thoughts?

Goddess keep you,

Emma

Picture This…

You wake to find the sun shining in through your window, the lovely fall colors of the leaves dipping and swaying in a light breeze. Walking outside to get the paper you see your neighbor and her son busy in their garden, weeding and watering. Smiling, you wave, and they chorus pleasantly, “Blessed Be!” Retrieving the paper you glance at the headlines noting the lack of war, protest, and violence.

Later, walking to school (or work, depending on your age) you come to an intersection where the lanes are packed with people on bicycles, greeting each other in friendly tones as they wait for the light to change. You stroll down the street, admiring the new solar panels that collect the golden rays’ energy. Every house you pass has a large garden and brimming recycling bins. On one commercial street you spot an herb and spice store, a plant nursery, and a small bookstore with a large pentagram on the awning. The proprietors wave to you as you pass calling, “Blessed Be,” and, “Goddess Bless!”

As you round the corner to pass the same church you see everyday, you discover that the property instead houses a small park with a statue of Zeus and Hera sitting regally in the center. You glance at you watch, noting that you have a few minutes to spare, and decide to have a look. You pass benches where young couples sit talking and laughing, old apple trees, boughs heavy with fruit, and a trickling stream where young children wade barefoot, glad of the Indian Summer day.

Sighing, you leave the serenity of the park, continuing on you way to school/work. When you arrive, you are greeted by the same friendly tones though you don’t recognize any of the people. You head to your first period class/desk, marveling at the beautiful mural on one of the walls of a young woman dressed in white with long, flowing hair who stands next to a deer, her hand on the creature’s head. Behind her a full moon peeks out from between tree branches and stars twinkle across the night sky. Turning to a classmate/coworker, you ask, “Has that always been there?” She responds, “Yeah. It’s beautiful isn’t it?” You nod, noticing a pentacle around her neck.

By the end of the school/workday you feel a happy sense of satisfaction that usually is eclipsed by exhaustion or stress. Strolling home casually, you notice an open-air market where farmers sell their organic produce. You strike up a conversation with a man selling cheese. “I love coming here,” he tells you, “It’s good business, but it’s good to meet people too.” You ask him when the market is open and he replies, “Everyday, all day during the summer and fall.” You smile, thinking that you’ll be shopping here from now on.

You come home and after finishing any homework/work you brought home, you eat a nice dinner, sitting outside, then get ready for bed. As the moon and stars illuminate the sky, you sit cross-legged in bed, meditating on your day. What explanation is there for the world’s sudden change?

The truth is you awakened to a world in which Paganism has taken the place of Judeo-Christian religions. It sounds like a really pleasent dream doesn’t it? Being the religious majority seems really cool. Of course, there are always things that can go wrong and we have to remember that the government is secular, but still, doesn’t it seem nice? Maybe, one of these days, something like this will be a reality. Just my thoughts.

Goddess keep you,

Emma

I’m a ‘Real’ Witch!

The other day I was sitting in my fourth period minding my own business and waiting for class to get started when the strangest thing happened. I was absentmindedly fingering my pentacle while considering the meaning of life (or some such thing – I don’t really remember) when the boy next to me dropped a bomb I never anticipated. “So are you a real Wiccan, or are you just wearing that to be…you know…” He made a face and a vague gesture to indicate his lack of respect for ‘fake’ Wiccans (people who think it’s cool to look all rebellious and think wearing a pentacle and saying they worship the Devil is the way to go).

Dang! I wasn’t expecting that. I responded in the affirmative with a bit of an edge to my voice that he likely didn’t deserve. Um, let me just stop for a second and say this: no one I’ve ever met really knows much about Wicca and no one has ever asked me if I was a Wiccan. I didn’t really realize it until just then, but I’d never really expected to be asked, I’ve gotten so used to explaining that I’m not Jewish (people apparently assume by default that if there’s a holiday they don’t know about it must be a Jewish one) and what Wicca is. A couple people have heard of it and I expect that one of these days someone on the street is going to go off the deep end at me when they see (and misunderstand) my pentacle but some random guy who actually knows what a ‘real’ Wiccan is? Never in a million years!

“I’m impressed,” He sounded it. Well, that’s a bit of a change from “What?” or “WITCH!!!!” Kind of nice actually. It’s the kind of thing I’d wish everyone a chance to experience – someone impressed by your faith. I think we forget sometimes (especially those teenage ones of us who have to go to a building everyday full of thousands of critical, hormone-fueled people) just how impressive our faith is; the world is constantly telling us that we’re wrong for believing what we do, but we just turn the other cheek and know deep down inside that this is the right path for us. No one ever said it was easy being the (religious) minority but we stick to our metaphorical guns all the same.

So I don’t know whether that guy is a Pagan or just someone who knows about the Wiccan faith, but whatever his personal beliefs he made me realize some things about myself I never noticed before. I guess it’s hard to be optimistic when the world sees you as synonymous with a green-skined, broom-flying, devil-worshiping old lady or a random goth kid who thinks they’re too cool for the world, but I guess I’m a bit more cynical than I thought. I’ll try to be a little less doubtful in the future and have a little more faith in the people around me. Still, I wouldn’t mind the occasional ego-boost to remind me that some people out there really do understand and appreciate what I believe in and the lifestyle I have committed myself to living every once in a while….

Goddess keep you,

Emma